When you have people on rotation, you don’t really value them.’ Psychology Professor Gwendolyn Seidman has studied relationships and online behaviour and confirms that looks count for much more online, partly because there’s little else to go on, and also because the focus is entirely on dating.‘As the months went on, the entire process made me feel utterly hopeless. My self-worth plummeted, and my mind began tossing around thoughts such as, “No man will ever want to date someone who looks like you.” When friends asked how the online dating was going, I would tense up.’ Patrice began to avoid socialising.‘Online dating on top of this made me depressed – I lost all my confidence.
You will soon learn what your non-negotiables are (not leaving a tip, tardiness, poor dining etiquette!
) as well as what it is that makes you a great catch. So even if you have found yourself alone after a story book first date, remember, look forward and smile as there are plenty more to come.
In today's world of a million-and-one online dating platforms, first dates feel like they've become a basic rite of passage.
Many of us have sat up for long hours, making the best profile conceivable and then it happens: you start to chat with someone who you find attractive and/or who has similar interests to you. To your delight, the date goes well and you are excited about the prospect of going on a second (and perhaps third fourth and fifth one too! You wait for their text or a call to set up a time for the next encounter and nothing. Well, the exhausting wait after what you have determined to be a "promising date," may not only be disappointing — but also painful.
‘I met about five men,’ says Katie, who works in the music industry. ‘I was in a dark pub, listening to yet another bloke telling me about his two failed marriages,’ says Katie.
‘Every single one talked about himself – I don’t remember being asked one question. ‘I felt I was giving free therapy when suddenly he said, “This is what’s missing from your life,” and grabbed my boob! I started asking myself what was it about me that made him think he could do that?
‘Rejection is part of life,’ he says, ‘but rejection on this platform says nothing about you as a person – except, perhaps, that you don’t have glib skills that have sparked someone’s fantasy.’ ‘For me, the tipping point was being molested in that pub,’ says Katie.
‘Everyone says that you have to meet a lot of frogs first, but you only get one life.
Your story may serve as great example for some near and dear to you as well.
Continuing the mission for your ideal romantic connection will allow you to connect to yourself as well.
’ As with Patrice, the experience hit Katie when she was at a low.