Once you tell him how great he is, he doesn’t know why he should write back. But the tone of that email should be flirty, funny, and challenging – the same as the email from a man that gets your attention.
POSTSCRIPT As to HOW to do something like that, here’s a link to my Finding the One Online program, which spends a full hour explaining how to email people online. Evan, Can you give an example of what would be an effective e-mail for a woman to write to a man?
In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message A proper first contact message is convoluted; you want to set certain expectations and convey an attractive image of yourself. It sounds a little cold-blooded and impersonal, but you’re going to want to have a stock first message. Treat approaching women on online dating sites should be like dynamite fishing; you want to toss your messages out there and see what floats to the surface.
If you weren’t attracted to her, you wouldn’t be writing to her in the first place, and it sounds like a pick-up line at best.
Instead, you want to start with”You look like you might be interesting.” “You seem like you could be cool.” “Something about your profile intrigues me.” See the common thread here?
Emails that tell a man that you hope he writes back are weak.
Find the tone that shows that – and maybe he’ll feel lucky to have you.
Just about every online dating site out there has some variation on this. Too many people spend too much time focusing on one particular girl at a time, developing an online version of one-itis.
In theory, it is supposed to be a cute and flirty way to tell someone that you’re interested in them, get them to check out your profile and maybe send you a message. They expend time and energy waiting checking her activity dates, wondering if she got that message, if he should send a second one… Approaching women out in the world is like spear-fishing – one at a time.
You want to her expectations and tempt her into replying to you. Now keep in mind: you’re not doing a complete copy and paste here (er… Second: You are conveying a specific attitude of confidence and curiosity.
You are approaching her almost as though you are auditioning her; approaching her as though you are begging for her attention is just going to make you look like a loser. Now, as for the structure: The Subject Line: The subject line is the first line of defense you have to get past.
Eg, say you both have a love for adventure travel — you see that he’s been trekking in Nepal, and has visited the Amazon…
Now that you’ve had a week or two to write up your profile and dip your toe into the world of online dating, it’s time to take a step back and take stock. Even a terse “Fuck off, cave troll” means that at least you’re being heard. It’s one of those times that makes you feel like you’re ready to scrap the whole idea and try your hand in places where you might have more success…
Women are usually outnumbered by a factor of 10 at least and are being messaged all the time.