Deborrah has studied love and dating for over 15 years and has appeared in numerous media outlets and is a frequent guest on 106.1 FM KMEL in San Francisco.
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You’ve found someone you want to date who wants to date you back! Actually, you don’t get bonus points for being in an interracial relationship (IRR).
They’re cute, funny, and sincere with similar interests and values. But for all the praise and comments my husband Vaughan and I have received throughout our relationship (he’s Black, and I’m a Korean American adoptee) about our future adorable biracial babies and how cool and progressive our relationship is, you would think we had achieved ultra-super-special dating status. Race is certainly a hot topic today, and it seems especially paramount to Millennials to prove how racist we are. I fully believe we are called to initiate, grow, and maintain healthy cross-cultural relationships, and that being part of the kingdom of God means experiencing more than just your little corner of it.
But from my experience and from stories of my peers, there is as much desire for racial justice and reconciliation as there is unhelpful idolizing and fetishizing of interracial relationships and biracial friends.
Below are four truths we need to understand about IRRs.
Do I get a gold star for creating the possibility of bringing biracial children into the world?
I believe with my whole heart that race and ethnicity are a good gift from our generous God—and that includes races, not just those that are the minority.
In listening, we can understand more fully, lament more deeply, and celebrate more joyously with our friends.
And in understanding, lamenting, and celebrating, we grow closer to and become more like Jesus.
It was barely a week into our relationship before Vaughan and I started getting comments about how adorable our children would be. I didn’t really know how to respond to those comments.