He was diagnosed about 7 or 8 years ago, on meds for a while then we just ignored the problem thinking it would go away. Three years ago I left after a very bad manic episode and he would not seek any professional help.When I said I was leaving it turned into an even worse episode that landed him in jail for a DUI (I think he was trying to kill himself with the use of the car). Got help, swore he would stay on meds, let me have my freedom, etc.I want him to be ok but I am now 34 years old with no children (human ones that is – scared to death to have them) and do not want to look back on my life with sadness.
I do love the American dream life we live, without the debt of course.
I know he loves me way more then I love him on a husband and wife level.
I had not seen this freaking out since the day I left two years prior. Sweating head to toe, couldn’t breath, didn’t want to live anymore, wanted to jump out the window to stop the madness, wanted me to leave him since he was so horrible, and on and on and on. Luckily my sister was down the hall at the hotel and I woke her at 3am to help me.
We calmed him down and then he promised to take his meds, do everything right and that he loved me more than anything and would do whatever it takes to make it work. Well, we are now in April and I am noticing all the subtle changes.
He wants (or has to have) a new car (always a sign), he wants me home at all times, he cringes if my phone rings and it is a friend, I should have the laundry done and cook dinner (things I have really never done since we met), work is too stressful for him, everyone is an idiot, etc.
I looked at the date on his pills and they should have been done weeks ago.Everything is my fault, I do not make enough money (I do make a nice salary), he wants a new luxury car, he is God and everyone else is an idiot, etc.He has built a very good company from scratch and has managed to maintain his business success.He keeps convincing him to prescribe the meds without getting the blood work done or the counseling.I am just starting to lose hope that this will be my life forever.I pay the bills and am always on edge that another month goes by and the more credit card debt we have. I will let him know we do not have any money after the bills are paid yet it is only my fault since I need a better job.