By the time a child has gotten in trouble for something, they already feel guilty, sorry and embarrassed about it.
Threatening to tell someone else rubs salt in the wound.
Train yourself to explain the reason behind your statement.
“That is not safe” or “Your skin is not for coloring on” is specific and helps them learn why things are off limits, rather than just that they are.
The former acknowledges that the child already figured out the problem, but is still comforting.
When redirecting behavior, it is difficult to know how to phrase things in the best manner.
Encouragement, and this phrase is arguably the most commonly spoken praise children hear. Instead of cutting off the conversation, you can say, “I know you want my answer to be different, but it will not change”.
You can also train yourself to make sure the child fully understands your response, with “I just told you my answer. ” This allows the child to present their opinion or get clarification.
It is wasted words to try to express a rule when a child is upset, as they focus on one thing at a time.
Instead, train yourself to say, “You realized that you jumped off the chair and got hurt when you landed on the ground”, rather than, “See, that is what happens when you jump off the chair”.
This clearly communicates the expectation and the consequence, without a threat.
Parents tend to want control all of the time, and it takes work to allow kids to have freedom to do what they choose.
So, you can say “Walk, please” instead of “No running”. Children are programmed to question, analyze and wonder about situations.